So today I’m feeling a bit down. Tilly (my horse) was especially challenging (would not go into the horse trailer) at the weekend and after various tactics and helpers were recruited I ended up run-walking her all the way back in the dark, through the woods, by the light of my head-torch. Good training for me, but not good for being able to take Tilly training to places with actual hills in the future.

And it’s raining, and she’s hurt her foot so is staying in for a few days.

So, I thought cos it’s raining it would be a great opportunity to try out some of my wet weather gear… but because I can’t find the waterproof pull on trousers I didn’t go for a ride so it hasn’t turned out quite like that.

Or if I were to turn today into a positive I could say…

Whilst mucking out I’ve learned that my waterproof coat has sleeves that are a bit too short, and leave an inch of bare wrist exposed between cuff and glove, exposed to get wet and cold. I bought a couple of sizes bigger than I need, but this jacket only just goes around my shoulders when I’m wearing a jumper underneath. Hrmph.

Obviously I’d tried it on and worn it around the house a bit to test it out before cutting the tags off, (El Gaucho is nothing if not expensive* and it pays to try things and reserve the right to exercise one’s statutory rights). But evidently I wasn’t paying attention to the key points when I did so.

As most things I need to buy seem to cost £200+ (Garmin 64S, super-light waterproof tent, 4-season synthetic sleeping bag etc.)

So, with the ¾ length Rydale Emley JacketI thought I was onto a winner, it was in stock and a snip at £49 – which as far as all-weather long-length riding gear is a good price. Sad then that the zip up the neck is too tight, the tag I’d just cut off had been attached there and I should have realised in my trying on that it wasn’t the tag getting in the way that made that part uncomfortable, it was a design flaw. Hmmm. We outdoorsy-types like to be able to hide from wind and wet stuff by shrugging our shoulders, shrinking and snuggling our chins down into a fluffy generous collar area leaving just our noses peeking out to grab some air and sadly this coat only just allows for the thinnest of buffs underneath, definitely not a scarf and not a polo neck or a hoodie, and absolutely no shrugging down into dry-jacket-warmth.

So, if you’re a short armed, thin-necked, narrow shouldered person then perhaps this jacket is more for you than for me.

Oh, and you should have short hair. Because, yes, there’s a hood (another tick I thought), but no, once the hood is opened out the Velcro which normally keeps the hood pouch all closed up is exposed, just left on the outside doing nothing. Did I mention the neck was tight? So, imagine a slightly too-tight jacket collar around your neck, then imagine your hair (pony-tailed or just sticking out of the bottom of your woolly hat) as you bend forward to muck out or reach up to put on a bridle … yes, that’s right it gets stuck uncomfortably on the velcro. Winner. Not.

If anyone else has any other suggestions – I’m thinking an Alton Towers style £1 rainproof poncho? – to keep me dry within budget, then please do comment below.

Onwards.

*The cost of entry is one thing (best forgotten about), then there’s the flights (I’ve gone for an option with an 8 hour wait in Barcelona airport to keep the price down) and then there’s the kit – which as this is the stuff that you’re relying to keep you alive in the elements for 10 days you don’t really want to skimp on. Key to staying alive in whatever weather (pouring rain, gale force winds, hail, sleet and maybe even slow, freezing at night and potentially sunny and even hot by day) is the right kit. And by “right” as far as I can work out it has to

1. Pack up to the size of a thong
2. Weigh less than a pair of ten denier tights
3. Be completely windproof and waterPROOF (not water-resistent – that is for townies or people whose idea of a trip is going from their house to car when it’s drizzly to do a 2-hour drive with heated seats and kids with headphones and screens in the back)

I suspect kit, the appropriateness, price and suitability of which will be a recurring theme.